Treatment (Part I)
I'm hanging
another fic I made long ago ... Thursday, December 6, 2007
Chain Shiny In Pokemon Heart Gold
is inspired in the second season .. when Justin and Brian conclude so happy: we have to put a few rules here .. Because it scares
Brian (oh, oh, the blond guy and I care ....) fucks this guy in the fucking couch ... jajjaajaja.
Anyway, did I miss that I have pending the end of congratulations peter pan, I'm at it.
and soon put the last part of this fic.
Here goes:
The bastard had done it again.
And thus toppling all my dreams and hopes.
I had to swallow my own words in front of Daphne, when I the loft and saw him having sex with another on the fucking couch. Gone
my assertions without arguments and illusions of minutes ago:
- Brian has changed, it is not the same as before, and fixed or others, even if it looks at me ...
And there he was.
Naked, sweaty, smelling of sex and betrayal.
staring at me when he saw me come up with Daphne and open the door to the loft.
punching his eyes, his mouth open with his moans.
did not bother to stop, only continued his task.
And I, in front of him, not reacting with the fuck open.
I turned and walked out of there as quickly as I could.
- Leave me alone.
- Justin ....
- Leave me alone Daphne. Tomorrow we speak.
And I began to wander the streets without direction or leadership.
was drunk to live.
of revenge.
I decided to go down to Babylon.
Without thinking twice.
not bowed to anyone, just went to the door, away from everything.
I also wanted to play. Without stopping to move
opened my eyes, I looked at him and smiled.
I could feel the effect it had had on him.
was very good, Brian had taught me well to seduce, manipulate and lie.
That poor boy had no defense whatsoever against me. I danced
around like a cat asking for cuddles and caresses.
His arms were strong, with large hard muscles.
And I wondered how I would feel between them. Among
arms so different from Brian.
I decided to find out.
His eyes were black and small. Well
.
nothing to do with changing hazel eyes.
blond hair, short and slightly curly. Well
.
A far cry from the dark color and smooth.
I stopped rocking in his arms. Brian
And I always remembered that rocked among his own, with just looked at me.
Shit, he again invaded my thoughts.
I focused on my victim.
was interesting to pretend to be fragile, when my whole being was full of anger and resentment.
I offered my mouth expecting to feel the delicious and heady thrill that accompanies a first kiss.
But it never came.
I began to feel ill, nauseated, as if I were not there, as if that were not courting dance with me.
We got lost in the crowd, among the lights, flashbulbs, music and smoke.
And we went to one of the most remote corners of Babylon, in that dark room where there was barely light.
Only groans and warmth.
His hands went down my back and I had to fight the urge to get away from there, disgusted.
I forced myself to stay there under his kisses wet and empty. Under her hands
hollow. Paste
a foreign body, as if it were a penance I had to meet to ease the sin of my weakness.
In my self-esteem shattered and scattered over the fucking floor loft.
He does not care about my passivity, and me and I did not care what happened in that corner.
had left my dignity in the arms of Brian the night he learned to love it.
The night that I first felt it in me.
As in, I was full days with the feel of him inside me yet.
I closed my eyes to the stranger.
I had nothing to lose.
And suddenly I heard his voice before him.
And I thought it was a prank of my senses and delusions. But the strange
arms seized me separated from me, like a breath of fresh air.
opened my eyes and a questioning look crossed with the black eyes I had before me.
And just then I saw the great hand that caught his neck.
A big hand, thin and elongated fingers, masculine yet delicate. And two brown eyes
ice caps and took shape behind the unknown.
Brian.
- Out! .- He repeated while shoved, pushed him away from me.
unknown
The poor guy did not try anything not even resist. It seemed a poor little animal
weak and helpless before the eyes of a killer anaconda.
I felt a wave of relief so inexplicable, that I almost wanted to laugh when I saw him run out of that corner, as if he were pointing a gun or something much worse.
Poor guy.
It would be months before they return to be seduced by a stranger.
And in less than a second, Brian pushed me over the wall, isolated from everything else.
left out the rest.
Babylon's music sounded like a distant echo.
We were there, together, face to face, standing, challenging us to look, spitting fire from every pore of our bodies, like two wrestlers to death before the fight.
Sometimes, Brian Kinney was a real battle, a fierce battle, an eternal struggle.
I knew that silence was his weapon. Brian
always created a silence between him and his prey. Thus
could guess his thoughts and intentions.
As a damn cat on the prowl.
Like a poisonous snake.
But I also knew Brian Kinney.
I knew him and hated him.
I hated it because I had become their slave.
In his toy. Now
loved him more than my own life.
sick every time I thought it was not close.
Its absence was like a fever.
As fall into a thousand lakes of fire.
took several minutes.
Those brown eyes burned my skin like hot iron. That
glare, intense and challenging.
- Justin ...
When I heard his voice, I released the breath he had been holding.
The breath I held in my lungs. Blind
my heart to him, protected him from total ruin.
and attacks.
- What? ! .- My voice was cold, the copying was an excellent teacher.
Brian did not answer, not even flinch. Just looked at me.
- What is supposed to pretend Brian, "hypnotize me?," Kill me with boredom?, Is that your new torture technique? Or is that only you can fuck with whom you please and when you please?.
- Do not talk nonsense, Justin.
- So what do you want?.
Another silence.
And a look full of messages that could not understand between penunbra of that stifling place.
I was destroying the nerves to have you there in silence, with his gaze fixed on me as strange. Drilling
my thoughts.
and returned to the load.
- Come on Brian, give me a little scene of jealousy, as if we were a sweet couple in love. Sure, you do not believe in these things, you're well above that.
spat the last words full of venom.
- You're not like that, Justin.
read the damn me as an open book.
felt that phrase as a slap in the face.
- And how I am, Brian. Since I seem to know much.
- You should not walk alone at this hour of the morning.
- And you think that matters more to you than to me.
- In a way, you are under my responsibility.
- Oh, yeah, and I said that was impossible so interested in my bienhestar.
- You can not react so whenever things do not go as you would like to do so.
- Come on Brian. What are you talking about?, What rules?, What rules?. I do not know what the rules in this game. Perhaps they are not. That would not be anything new. But it happens that I need a rule to play, right or wrong, I can not do without them. And if they are not, I leave peacefully. That's what I'm trying to do and you do not leave me!, Away!.
Brian moved closer to me, to corner me against the wall. Arms holding me tight.
- Listen, Justin .. we be discussing this all night to reach the same point of time. You've always known as am. I can not change my way of being.
- Take my hands off me, let go! .- His touch burned my skin, I could not stand it anymore. Brian
hardened his gaze. I was losing patience and that I liked.
gripped me and shook me violently, to dominate.
pressure on my skin your hands really hurt.
would have some nice marks the next day.
Noting that there was a next day.
At that time I cared very little.
Brian and his damned eyes.
could smell him and the feeling I was going crazy.
just wanted to kiss her, bury my face in yours, take me there same.
But after all, still had some pride running through my veins. I loaded
hate my voice.
- What the hell are you doing?. Are you going to rape me? .- I heard a voice dry, hard, cold, full of steel and ice. And I was surprised that mine .- As low you fall, Brian Kinney, you are no longer able to seduce your stupid victims and you have to take them by force?.
leaned back as if an invisible hand had beaten in the center of the soul.
Could have hurt the indestructible Brian Kinney?.
I let go.
I got back.
- When you put a little reasonable attempt to talk to you. Damn stupid brat.
His voice was broken.
I reached for him to pat his back on impulse, but Brian took a few steps and my fingers touched the air.
I was released from him and see him away from the dark corridor created great anxiety within me.
looked where to look, always seemed to me to see him.
The remains of expensive perfume and men were scattered through the air. I thought
drown in them.
I returned, I placed the clothes, took a deep breath and started walking down the aisle of that dark room.
without daring to stare into nowhere, case among those naked bodies and sex hungry was that of Brian.
I had had enough for the night.
I returned to the track of Babylon, the music re-invasion.
The track was crowded.
walked slowly to the center.
music drums resounded within me.
felt like each of my muscles to let go, each pore is opened and filled with people, chords, smoke, lights whirling.
I left a blank mind and began to move.
was alive.
was free.
Young and beautiful.
And a few minutes, another man was smiling as he approached me slowly.
But I still felt somewhere. Within
me ....
------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- -----------------------
- why am I here?. Do you feel guilty for what happened?. Answers. Answer .. If I had not been beaten would be here?.
stood for hours in silence, staring at the damn computer screen that I gave.
just could not answer.
suno could not reconcile.
Yes, I felt extremely guilty.
But he was not there only so.
How to tell the truth?. Image disappointed
Sunshine through my soul.
constantly chasing me like a nightmare.
desire he felt for him since he came into my life was growing more every day.
wishes and feelings.
If feelings.
Because I had good news to give to everyone: Brian Kinney has feelings.
just could not tell the truth.
could not show me vulnerable.
could not break the line.
That fear grew, even in front.
That fear was paralyzing me. That
brat that had put my world upside down, upside down. With
just trying.
That came into my life without permission, not wanting to see, without giving up.
And I had won, in an absurd, unbelievable.
no remedy.
What I've always wanted to have everything under control. I went to Woody
° s. There he
.
appeared and turned to leave, as she always did not listen to the answer I wanted.
Except that this time he listened.
Or at least, only a part.
Deb came out of nowhere.
And I did not feel anything, only to sink into the cup of liquor that was in front of me. I was greatly
sad, empty, cursing a thousand times those feelings. Hating
feel this way.
- Have not suffered enough to make you do more damage?.
- Do not mess.
was all I could say.
My best weapon, armor, close.
- I care about this guy and you only care ...
- What do I suck dick?. That has already been demonstrated.
- I do not want to suffer.
- Such is life, right?. Surprise.
Deb smiled, reading me, I hated that feeling of being cornered.
And then uttered those words.
- You think you've managed to fool everyone, right?. Long I do.
I looked, I could not help but smile wryly, looking for an escape from the time of argument and confusion.
did not want to read in my eyes.
I looked away, concentrating on my drink.
But I was not able or drink a single sip.
- No matter how you try to deny it. I know he'll like you care so much you matter to him. Unless you do not have the guts to prove it.
- Well, lend me yours.
That was my best weapon.
Yes, silence.
arrogance.
- I will do whatever is necessary to admit that you want.
smiled. But within seconds, I felt that everything was falling apart.
hated the feeling that Deb's words caused me forever. I hated to leave my
negative self-evident.
feel so hated.
I tried to ignore every one of those words.
As if none of it was me.
- Despite your efforts to have another heart does not touch yours. So stubborn that guy has managed to break the gate. That's what happened, huh?.
But that never ended.
The third grade I was getting on my nerves.
The third grade I was leaving the cursed land of Woody ° s.
When I could still smell him. When I could still taste
taste in my mouth.
I set the center of the spiral.
the center of the confusion.
I no longer strained to look cold as ice. Deb
was beating me without being able to not even blink. Leaving in the environment
I know not what mysterious easier to guess than to define.
- Supports the truth. I want, is not it?.
Absurd.
Strange. Confused
.
Shit.
I could not answer.
I could not smile mischievously as he always did in such situations.
I could not defend by attacking.
I could not look up from the cup.
just felt like I was shrinking.
Shrinking.
And shrinking.
to be paid in full.
felt fear through my bones.
I felt there.
In the depths of my being.
In the center of my stomach.
And the perpetual silence that always scored lower my hours.
- I thought so. Well .... tell Tell what ever you said to Michael.
and total destruction gripped me.
without reacting.
Unable to look up. Preventing
read it.
Shit.
Shit.
Before someone confess everything was ready to go.
I wanted to disappear.
Yes. He wanted.
I liked the way they feel.
His way of being free.
loved the way I kiss that blond guy.
loved the way she smiled.
wish I could say that everything was over.
But it never ends.
It never ends.
end.
------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------------
---------------------- I came home without the slightest desire to leave that night. Sometimes it seemed
different planets and distant from each other.
could not sleep.
I spent hours on end staring at the ceiling of the bedroom.
Smoking a cigarette after another.
The blond guy never came back .. and somewhere in my damn subconscious I was lying there, waiting. Deb
had screwed me completely with his magnificent speech about love, feelings, recognition of the truth and a thousand shit.
always the same shit. Toward the
some effort to understand me?.
Do you understand I was doing for him?.
The answer was always no.
cede who succumb both lose.
I got out of bed.
What were the best times of Brian Kinney?.
I even had to hear in the supermarket, I was not used to be.
which now had a relationship ... Damn fags
with rumors. I opened
the closet and put on my tightest pants I found.
That made me feel good.
And look in the mirror, a thought crossed my mind.
would die for him.
But do not lie for him.
Is that it?.
great and noble sacrifice, but not the small and mean.
The music still playing, I went to remove the disk before leaving ...
wish I could hate you.
wish I could forget our past.
wish I could say that all this is over.
But it never ends.
love the way you smile.
I like the way you feel.
I love the way you kiss me. Abhor
way in which I lie.
Hold on, I'll be there for you.
Hold on, we'll make it work.
wish I could trust you.
wish I could erase the past.
wish I could say that all this is over,
but this never ends ....
That album had brought the blond guy ... what was the song lyrics.
was the last thing I needed to hear .. why almost all the songs are about love ?.....
combed my hair, I wore my lucky shirt, I looked in the mirror and smiled.
was beautiful. Perhaps
be provided.
- Perfect Brian. You And I smiled getting closer perfect .- at the door.
------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------------
---- After a long talk with Daphne decided to go to Babylon.
I looked up and there he was.
Leaning on the railing, his face illuminated by colored lights.
Brian was standing on top of Babylon, watching everything from above, as the king of the place.
And of lights, smoke, flashes, Chumba Chumba .. Brian was the most beautiful that my eyes had ever seen.
Even when her heart was broken without him noticing. So beautiful
felt my heart break into a thousand every time I had before.
Most of the time looking at him hurt.
- But .. have a heart? .- I thought for me while I was still staring. Why
returned there. " Maybe have it thus preferred not to have it.
Yes, always knew what it was.
from the start.
But he could not get used, it hurt too much.
I thought that at some point he could change for me.
Suddenly, Brian looked down and saw me in the crowd. That
Brian strange look through me completely.
Was it pain?.
Was hidden pain that look after challenge and indifference?. I knew
I was judging.
That condemned him.
stopped dancing and on impulse I went to meet him. Sorting
the crowd, thousands of semi-naked bodies touching perfection.
Making my way as I could. Feeling
Brian's eyes still fixed on me.
At the top, did not cross a word with him.
I hugged her waist and rested my head against his back.
I felt like hugging a column of cement.
- Brian ...
not budge.
went up there with his arms on the railing. Looking
Babylon from his throne.
- Brian, please ..
around him without letting his waist, absorbing its aroma, until his body to spin and keep it in front of me.
The look hard frost had fallen.
- Go .. re the lamb to the fold ...
- Brian ...
- What are you doing here?.
and separated from my side, standing in front of me, on the other side of the room .... Lights and colors
without invading Babylon from up there.
continue ....
And thus toppling all my dreams and hopes.
I had to swallow my own words in front of Daphne, when I the loft and saw him having sex with another on the fucking couch. Gone
my assertions without arguments and illusions of minutes ago:
- Brian has changed, it is not the same as before, and fixed or others, even if it looks at me ...
And there he was.
Naked, sweaty, smelling of sex and betrayal.
staring at me when he saw me come up with Daphne and open the door to the loft.
punching his eyes, his mouth open with his moans.
did not bother to stop, only continued his task.
And I, in front of him, not reacting with the fuck open.
I turned and walked out of there as quickly as I could.
- Leave me alone.
- Justin ....
- Leave me alone Daphne. Tomorrow we speak.
And I began to wander the streets without direction or leadership.
was drunk to live.
of revenge.
I decided to go down to Babylon.
Without thinking twice.
not bowed to anyone, just went to the door, away from everything.
I also wanted to play. Without stopping to move
opened my eyes, I looked at him and smiled.
I could feel the effect it had had on him.
was very good, Brian had taught me well to seduce, manipulate and lie.
That poor boy had no defense whatsoever against me. I danced
around like a cat asking for cuddles and caresses.
His arms were strong, with large hard muscles.
And I wondered how I would feel between them. Among
arms so different from Brian.
I decided to find out.
His eyes were black and small. Well
.
nothing to do with changing hazel eyes.
blond hair, short and slightly curly. Well
.
A far cry from the dark color and smooth.
I stopped rocking in his arms. Brian
And I always remembered that rocked among his own, with just looked at me.
Shit, he again invaded my thoughts.
I focused on my victim.
was interesting to pretend to be fragile, when my whole being was full of anger and resentment.
I offered my mouth expecting to feel the delicious and heady thrill that accompanies a first kiss.
But it never came.
I began to feel ill, nauseated, as if I were not there, as if that were not courting dance with me.
We got lost in the crowd, among the lights, flashbulbs, music and smoke.
And we went to one of the most remote corners of Babylon, in that dark room where there was barely light.
Only groans and warmth.
His hands went down my back and I had to fight the urge to get away from there, disgusted.
I forced myself to stay there under his kisses wet and empty. Under her hands
hollow. Paste
a foreign body, as if it were a penance I had to meet to ease the sin of my weakness.
In my self-esteem shattered and scattered over the fucking floor loft.
He does not care about my passivity, and me and I did not care what happened in that corner.
had left my dignity in the arms of Brian the night he learned to love it.
The night that I first felt it in me.
As in, I was full days with the feel of him inside me yet.
I closed my eyes to the stranger.
I had nothing to lose.
And suddenly I heard his voice before him.
And I thought it was a prank of my senses and delusions. But the strange
arms seized me separated from me, like a breath of fresh air.
opened my eyes and a questioning look crossed with the black eyes I had before me.
And just then I saw the great hand that caught his neck.
A big hand, thin and elongated fingers, masculine yet delicate. And two brown eyes
ice caps and took shape behind the unknown.
Brian.
- Out! .- He repeated while shoved, pushed him away from me.
unknown
The poor guy did not try anything not even resist. It seemed a poor little animal
weak and helpless before the eyes of a killer anaconda.
I felt a wave of relief so inexplicable, that I almost wanted to laugh when I saw him run out of that corner, as if he were pointing a gun or something much worse.
Poor guy.
It would be months before they return to be seduced by a stranger.
And in less than a second, Brian pushed me over the wall, isolated from everything else.
left out the rest.
Babylon's music sounded like a distant echo.
We were there, together, face to face, standing, challenging us to look, spitting fire from every pore of our bodies, like two wrestlers to death before the fight.
Sometimes, Brian Kinney was a real battle, a fierce battle, an eternal struggle.
I knew that silence was his weapon. Brian
always created a silence between him and his prey. Thus
could guess his thoughts and intentions.
As a damn cat on the prowl.
Like a poisonous snake.
But I also knew Brian Kinney.
I knew him and hated him.
I hated it because I had become their slave.
In his toy. Now
loved him more than my own life.
sick every time I thought it was not close.
Its absence was like a fever.
As fall into a thousand lakes of fire.
took several minutes.
Those brown eyes burned my skin like hot iron. That
glare, intense and challenging.
- Justin ...
When I heard his voice, I released the breath he had been holding.
The breath I held in my lungs. Blind
my heart to him, protected him from total ruin.
and attacks.
- What? ! .- My voice was cold, the copying was an excellent teacher.
Brian did not answer, not even flinch. Just looked at me.
- What is supposed to pretend Brian, "hypnotize me?," Kill me with boredom?, Is that your new torture technique? Or is that only you can fuck with whom you please and when you please?.
- Do not talk nonsense, Justin.
- So what do you want?.
Another silence.
And a look full of messages that could not understand between penunbra of that stifling place.
I was destroying the nerves to have you there in silence, with his gaze fixed on me as strange. Drilling
my thoughts.
and returned to the load.
- Come on Brian, give me a little scene of jealousy, as if we were a sweet couple in love. Sure, you do not believe in these things, you're well above that.
spat the last words full of venom.
- You're not like that, Justin.
read the damn me as an open book.
felt that phrase as a slap in the face.
- And how I am, Brian. Since I seem to know much.
- You should not walk alone at this hour of the morning.
- And you think that matters more to you than to me.
- In a way, you are under my responsibility.
- Oh, yeah, and I said that was impossible so interested in my bienhestar.
- You can not react so whenever things do not go as you would like to do so.
- Come on Brian. What are you talking about?, What rules?, What rules?. I do not know what the rules in this game. Perhaps they are not. That would not be anything new. But it happens that I need a rule to play, right or wrong, I can not do without them. And if they are not, I leave peacefully. That's what I'm trying to do and you do not leave me!, Away!.
Brian moved closer to me, to corner me against the wall. Arms holding me tight.
- Listen, Justin .. we be discussing this all night to reach the same point of time. You've always known as am. I can not change my way of being.
- Take my hands off me, let go! .- His touch burned my skin, I could not stand it anymore. Brian
hardened his gaze. I was losing patience and that I liked.
gripped me and shook me violently, to dominate.
pressure on my skin your hands really hurt.
would have some nice marks the next day.
Noting that there was a next day.
At that time I cared very little.
Brian and his damned eyes.
could smell him and the feeling I was going crazy.
just wanted to kiss her, bury my face in yours, take me there same.
But after all, still had some pride running through my veins. I loaded
hate my voice.
- What the hell are you doing?. Are you going to rape me? .- I heard a voice dry, hard, cold, full of steel and ice. And I was surprised that mine .- As low you fall, Brian Kinney, you are no longer able to seduce your stupid victims and you have to take them by force?.
leaned back as if an invisible hand had beaten in the center of the soul.
Could have hurt the indestructible Brian Kinney?.
I let go.
I got back.
- When you put a little reasonable attempt to talk to you. Damn stupid brat.
His voice was broken.
I reached for him to pat his back on impulse, but Brian took a few steps and my fingers touched the air.
I was released from him and see him away from the dark corridor created great anxiety within me.
looked where to look, always seemed to me to see him.
The remains of expensive perfume and men were scattered through the air. I thought
drown in them.
I returned, I placed the clothes, took a deep breath and started walking down the aisle of that dark room.
without daring to stare into nowhere, case among those naked bodies and sex hungry was that of Brian.
I had had enough for the night.
I returned to the track of Babylon, the music re-invasion.
The track was crowded.
walked slowly to the center.
music drums resounded within me.
felt like each of my muscles to let go, each pore is opened and filled with people, chords, smoke, lights whirling.
I left a blank mind and began to move.
was alive.
was free.
Young and beautiful.
And a few minutes, another man was smiling as he approached me slowly.
But I still felt somewhere. Within
me ....
------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- -----------------------
- why am I here?. Do you feel guilty for what happened?. Answers. Answer .. If I had not been beaten would be here?.
stood for hours in silence, staring at the damn computer screen that I gave.
just could not answer.
suno could not reconcile.
Yes, I felt extremely guilty.
But he was not there only so.
How to tell the truth?. Image disappointed
Sunshine through my soul.
constantly chasing me like a nightmare.
desire he felt for him since he came into my life was growing more every day.
wishes and feelings.
If feelings.
Because I had good news to give to everyone: Brian Kinney has feelings.
just could not tell the truth.
could not show me vulnerable.
could not break the line.
That fear grew, even in front.
That fear was paralyzing me. That
brat that had put my world upside down, upside down. With
just trying.
That came into my life without permission, not wanting to see, without giving up.
And I had won, in an absurd, unbelievable.
no remedy.
What I've always wanted to have everything under control. I went to Woody
° s. There he
.
appeared and turned to leave, as she always did not listen to the answer I wanted.
Except that this time he listened.
Or at least, only a part.
Deb came out of nowhere.
And I did not feel anything, only to sink into the cup of liquor that was in front of me. I was greatly
sad, empty, cursing a thousand times those feelings. Hating
feel this way.
- Have not suffered enough to make you do more damage?.
- Do not mess.
was all I could say.
My best weapon, armor, close.
- I care about this guy and you only care ...
- What do I suck dick?. That has already been demonstrated.
- I do not want to suffer.
- Such is life, right?. Surprise.
Deb smiled, reading me, I hated that feeling of being cornered.
And then uttered those words.
- You think you've managed to fool everyone, right?. Long I do.
I looked, I could not help but smile wryly, looking for an escape from the time of argument and confusion.
did not want to read in my eyes.
I looked away, concentrating on my drink.
But I was not able or drink a single sip.
- No matter how you try to deny it. I know he'll like you care so much you matter to him. Unless you do not have the guts to prove it.
- Well, lend me yours.
That was my best weapon.
Yes, silence.
arrogance.
- I will do whatever is necessary to admit that you want.
smiled. But within seconds, I felt that everything was falling apart.
hated the feeling that Deb's words caused me forever. I hated to leave my
negative self-evident.
feel so hated.
I tried to ignore every one of those words.
As if none of it was me.
- Despite your efforts to have another heart does not touch yours. So stubborn that guy has managed to break the gate. That's what happened, huh?.
But that never ended.
The third grade I was getting on my nerves.
The third grade I was leaving the cursed land of Woody ° s.
When I could still smell him. When I could still taste
taste in my mouth.
I set the center of the spiral.
the center of the confusion.
I no longer strained to look cold as ice. Deb
was beating me without being able to not even blink. Leaving in the environment
I know not what mysterious easier to guess than to define.
- Supports the truth. I want, is not it?.
Absurd.
Strange. Confused
.
Shit.
I could not answer.
I could not smile mischievously as he always did in such situations.
I could not defend by attacking.
I could not look up from the cup.
just felt like I was shrinking.
Shrinking.
And shrinking.
to be paid in full.
felt fear through my bones.
I felt there.
In the depths of my being.
In the center of my stomach.
And the perpetual silence that always scored lower my hours.
- I thought so. Well .... tell Tell what ever you said to Michael.
and total destruction gripped me.
without reacting.
Unable to look up. Preventing
read it.
Shit.
Shit.
Before someone confess everything was ready to go.
I wanted to disappear.
Yes. He wanted.
I liked the way they feel.
His way of being free.
loved the way I kiss that blond guy.
loved the way she smiled.
wish I could say that everything was over.
But it never ends.
It never ends.
end.
------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------------
---------------------- I came home without the slightest desire to leave that night. Sometimes it seemed
different planets and distant from each other.
could not sleep.
I spent hours on end staring at the ceiling of the bedroom.
Smoking a cigarette after another.
The blond guy never came back .. and somewhere in my damn subconscious I was lying there, waiting. Deb
had screwed me completely with his magnificent speech about love, feelings, recognition of the truth and a thousand shit.
always the same shit. Toward the
some effort to understand me?.
Do you understand I was doing for him?.
The answer was always no.
cede who succumb both lose.
I got out of bed.
What were the best times of Brian Kinney?.
I even had to hear in the supermarket, I was not used to be.
which now had a relationship ... Damn fags
with rumors. I opened
the closet and put on my tightest pants I found.
That made me feel good.
And look in the mirror, a thought crossed my mind.
would die for him.
But do not lie for him.
Is that it?.
great and noble sacrifice, but not the small and mean.
The music still playing, I went to remove the disk before leaving ...
wish I could hate you.
wish I could forget our past.
wish I could say that all this is over.
But it never ends.
love the way you smile.
I like the way you feel.
I love the way you kiss me. Abhor
way in which I lie.
Hold on, I'll be there for you.
Hold on, we'll make it work.
wish I could trust you.
wish I could erase the past.
wish I could say that all this is over,
but this never ends ....
That album had brought the blond guy ... what was the song lyrics.
was the last thing I needed to hear .. why almost all the songs are about love ?.....
combed my hair, I wore my lucky shirt, I looked in the mirror and smiled.
was beautiful. Perhaps
be provided.
- Perfect Brian. You And I smiled getting closer perfect .- at the door.
------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------------------------
---- After a long talk with Daphne decided to go to Babylon.
I looked up and there he was.
Leaning on the railing, his face illuminated by colored lights.
Brian was standing on top of Babylon, watching everything from above, as the king of the place.
And of lights, smoke, flashes, Chumba Chumba .. Brian was the most beautiful that my eyes had ever seen.
Even when her heart was broken without him noticing. So beautiful
felt my heart break into a thousand every time I had before.
Most of the time looking at him hurt.
- But .. have a heart? .- I thought for me while I was still staring. Why
returned there. " Maybe have it thus preferred not to have it.
Yes, always knew what it was.
from the start.
But he could not get used, it hurt too much.
I thought that at some point he could change for me.
Suddenly, Brian looked down and saw me in the crowd. That
Brian strange look through me completely.
Was it pain?.
Was hidden pain that look after challenge and indifference?. I knew
I was judging.
That condemned him.
stopped dancing and on impulse I went to meet him. Sorting
the crowd, thousands of semi-naked bodies touching perfection.
Making my way as I could. Feeling
Brian's eyes still fixed on me.
At the top, did not cross a word with him.
I hugged her waist and rested my head against his back.
I felt like hugging a column of cement.
- Brian ...
not budge.
went up there with his arms on the railing. Looking
Babylon from his throne.
- Brian, please ..
around him without letting his waist, absorbing its aroma, until his body to spin and keep it in front of me.
The look hard frost had fallen.
- Go .. re the lamb to the fold ...
- Brian ...
- What are you doing here?.
and separated from my side, standing in front of me, on the other side of the room .... Lights and colors
without invading Babylon from up there.
continue ....
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